I’m trying to write another blog post – really, I am – but some noisy birds outside my window keep interrupting me. Quiet down! I’m trying to think!

Just kidding. I love birds. In fact, I just moved out to the sunporch so I can hear them better. I’m hoping for some avian inspiration.

Nothing’s coming to me, though. Oh well, no pressure. It’s not like it’s been 100 days since my last blog post or anything. Or … has it? Uh-oh. I guess it’s time to do what every self-respecting blogger has had to resort to at some point in their career: copy and paste someone else’s tweets! 

[The following is a full transcript of what I heard next.]

Cardinal: “Hi, Robbie. Glad you told us about this place. The food here at International House of Birdseed is primo!”

Robin: “You’ve got that right, Red. But by food, don’t you mean ‘grub’?”

Cardinal: “Right. I forgot you prefer those creepy crawlers. Oh look, here comes Jay!”

Blue jay: “Ah-ha! I knew I’d find you two characters here. And who’s this coming in for a landing? Could it be … Rose?”

Rose-breasted grosbeak: “Guys! This place is really hoppin’!”

Robin: “Yeah, and we’re all so diverse. Blue, yellow, red, black, white …”

House sparrow: “And brown! Don’t forget about us!”

Squirrel: “Yeah! That’s right!”

Grackle: “Move over, Squeaky … you’re on my patch of grass.”

Squirrel: “Oops, sorry big fella. Okay, enough with the small talk. Let’s eat. The food here is SO good.”

Cardinal: “And it’s all natural!”

Red-bellied woodpecker: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can say that again! The lady here doesn’t allow those nasty chemicals anywhere near the place. I can tell because there are SO MANY bugs up here in the trees.”

Chickadee: “That’s right, Woody. And dandelions, too. I can see them from here. There must be a million of them.”

Grackle: “Yeah, Dee. Not like next door. The lawn over there looks like a golf course, but don’t ever try and eat it. Eww!”

Blue jay: “I came across an interesting article about pesticides the other day while gazing down at someone’s iPhone.”

Rose-breasted grosbeak: “You can read?”

Blue jay: “Sure! We corvids are quite intelligent. Just go to birds.com if you don’t believe me. Anyway, according to the Audubon Society’s website, ‘It is estimated  that approximately 7 million wild birds are killed each year due to the aesthetic use of pesticides by homeowners.’ ”

Chickadee: “Yikes! I’ll stick to this lady’s yard for sure!”

Robin: “All I know is, the worms taste much better over here at this establishment. And speaking of the lady – is that her in the window? I think she’s on to us. Quick! Switch back to bird talk!”

Squirrel: “What about me?”

Robin: “Just keep your mouth shut until she leaves. Can you do that?”

Squirrel: “I’ll try!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately, I couldn’t understand anything they said after they’d spotted me. I’ll have to be more clandestine in the future. So for now, I still don’t have anything to write about. But I did manage to snap a couple of photos!